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greyorder: (Poised)

Oh, Where Do We Begin?

The Rubble Or Our Sins?

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Created on 2016-01-30 00:33:32 (#2484602), last updated 2017-04-14 (14 weeks ago)

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Name:Kylo Ren // Ben Solo
Birthdate:Mar 5
From within the First Order, the Light Side of the Force was able to get through to Kylo Ren. He decided to ruin it from within once he gained enough power. But the Dark Side energy corrupted him again, crashing over him like a wave and making him ditch the plan until Han showed up. The struggle in him was calmed, if only temporarily, by the knowledge that despite what he thought he was of some value. His faith in the Light Side of the Force's power was aided by seeing Rey's remarkable amount of power, which she wielded without the manipulative teachings and guidance it had taken to get him to a similar level. Finally believing there was another way this story could end, he gave his father his lightsaber, and went with him peacefully, if not without much unresolved conflict inside.

Upon switching sides, however, Kylo found he had lost access to the Force. Knights Of The Old Republic established it was possible to, if you did too many Light Side and Dark Side things in the same span of time, lose access to both dark and light powers alike. Kylo's own behavior cut him off. It isn't possible to be in the grey and be able to wield the Force as he is now. He still has too much anger at being shipped off to train with Luke, feels the betrayal of forcing down loneliness and training as a Jedi when no one had ever asked him if that was the path he wanted his life to take. He cannot access the Light Side of the Force. And yet he has too much love and regret and guilt to return to doing what he did with the Dark Side of the Force.

How is he to carry on? This is his reward for doing the right thing - to be set back to nothing? All his life his worth was measured by his abilities as a Force user, by Luke, by his parents, by Lord Snoke, by the First Order - his entire identity was based upon the Force. Without it, who is he? Whatever it takes to regain his power, he will do it, but until then he's neither Kylo Ren nor Ben Solo. He has become something new, and in his mind, something far lesser.
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